The Trump cabinet is shaping up to be the sort of “basket of deplorables” we were all warned about, and the news just keeps getting worse and worse. Never before in America have we had a group of robber barons with actual government power, at least not since the days of Warren G. Harding and his “Ohio Gang” of corrupt thieves. Harding also promised to consult some of the “best minds” when making his choices, just as Trump did, and in true Harding fashion Trump instead chose “merely best friends,” in this case fellow travelers amongst the 1% and other corporate leaders. Let’s go over the latest indignities.
Your Secretary of State: Rex Tillerson, the CEO of ExxonMobil. One can hardly imagine a more nakedly brazen pick for a post of such significance than this one. Rex Tillerson: long a foe of American foreign policy when it conflicted with the international business interests of the only company he has ever drawn a salary from in his adult life, will now be the international deal-making face of America to the world. Simply a stunning pick, and one that frames every other pick announced thus far in its proper context. Simply put: Trump has assembled all the pieces of a corrupt kleptocracy, meant to bleed dry both the national coffers and the wallets of every citizen of this country. Exxon will now surely get the $500 billion Russian oil deal that sat languishing during Obama sanctions, and every country with some natural resources to spare and a corrupt dictator in charge will certainly be paid a visit, out of pure national interest of course. One can hardly imagine a man more obviously personally profiting and making huge sums of money for himself and those he considers friends while he is in public office, besides Trump himself of course. Mark my words: just watch the same Republican whore Congressmen and hack pundits who criticized Obama for high gas prices in 2009 laud the corrupt Trump regime for its “good deal-making” even when oil and gas prices shoot right back up again and ExxonMobil’s profit soars. Trump voters wanted someone to “drain the swamp,” but instead Trump picked a real life swamp monster to high office.
While we’re on the subject of loathsome creatures let me turn to the next pick we will discuss today: the former Governor of my current state of Texas, “Mr. Oops” himself, most recently seen busting a move with Vanilla Ice on Dancing With The Stars, that’s right everybody, give it up for Rick Perry! Rick Perry: who in three terms made sure every single donor’s palm was well greased, who turned the entire western half into the state into a moonscape of natural gas fracking sites (seriously, check Google Maps), the man who “oopsed” and forgot the name of the agency he will now purportedly lead: the Department of Energy. Mark my words: if they can frack for natural gas next to Old Faithful or on the edge of the Grand Canyon and somehow make a buck off of it, the wells will go up under this greased pig’s watch. Perry is a loathsome creature and further evidence that Trump’s strategy with cabinet picks is twofold: either rob the place blind or shut the place down. I believe Perry’s job is to mostly do the latter, but I’m sure based on his history in Texas he will find a way to also do the former.
When you add these two recent picks to some of the others that were made: foreclosure king and Goldman alum Steve Mnuchin who will try to top Hank Paulson as the most corrupt Treasury Secretary ever, Gary Cohn who joins Steve and the other Steve in a triad of Goldman hacks, Andrew Puzder who made a name for himself as the anti-union leader of Carl’s Jr and a fan of “hot chicks eating burgers,” and Scott Pruitt, the oil industry insider who made a name for himself by being extremely anti-EPA and who will now run the EPA, the message is clear: abandon all hope. Trump has quite simply appointed the most loathsome list of “stave the beast,” government hating corporate thieves I have ever seen in my adult life. I challenge every single Trump voter who honestly believed Trump when he claimed he, like Bernie Sanders, wanted to help the middle class to tell me what they’re thinking as these picks are announced. Do you honestly believe things will improve for you now with these slimy chucklefucks in charge? If so you’re more delusional than the Democrats still insisting an Electoral College revolt might still save us. This might just be Game Over.
So enjoy the ride down the drain, folks. George Carlin would be having a field day with the news of 2016: he saw all of this coming years ago. It’s a natural progression: instead of appointing corrupt political hacks to cabinet posts who are lobbied, bribed and cajoled into playing ball with the rich business interests, Trump simply recruited the rich corrupt folks right into the government. At least this way our tax dollars will be stolen with an additional level of efficiency though, right? The aim now, for those of all political stripes who oppose this brazen perversion of every function of government, is to harness the ease of information sharing of today and expose what happens in every way possible, and to bear witness. Those who elected this man need to rue the day, and in short order I am sure they will. Because anyone who is not a billionaire or currently a CEO of a large company is in for a rough ride these next four years. But at least it will be entertaining even while it’s horrifying, right?